February 2011
12 posts
January 2011
8 posts
my heart has been heavy and troubled. everything has been falling apart and i’ve been running. i haven’t been running to the thing that can save me, instead i’ve been running to everything that will ultimately lead to my death and destruction. i’ve been running to vices that do nothing by tear me down. i’ve been drinking, i’ve been hiding, i’ve been...
“we have found our hope
we have found our peace
we have found our rest
in the...”
i took that first step. i walked in and i sat there. tomorrow i walk in and say hello.
“she looked down at herself and found she was clean and clothed in white.” {redeeming love} the snow this week has been a visible reminder that i have been made pure as snow, and yet my heart has struggled more this week to believe this. i have struggled to feel clean of so many things this week and as a result, i’ve ended up feeling lost and alone. lies are so much harder...
i feel so dirty. so unclean. so unworthy. mentally, i know these are lies, but at a heart level it is so hard to believe. i need strength that i don’t have on my own right now. i feel as if i am drowning, lost in a sea of black waves and sharks, trying to find the white sandy shore once again.
Beloved. it’s amazing how one word can hold so much fear over me, and yet this word does. for 2011, i want to focus on believing that i am called Beloved. i want to believe that i am loved. i want to trust that my name has been changed. i am Beloved. fear or not, Beloved, i am.