for so long, i have been faking belief. my disillusioned heart had become calloused and hard, but my words, softened by shaky smiles, created a mask so no one was wiser. this past weekend, i was ready to be done. to give up. to lift my hands towards the ocean and say goodbye to god.
the scene couldn’t have been set more beautifully. several friends, sisters in this journey if you will, gathered at seabrook to soak in the joy of each other. and not only did my body find rest, but my heart found healing. deer, the crashing ocean waves, and well placed “god moments” crushed the walls that i was holding onto. i left feeling new.
this fragile, fickle heart still has some doubts and fears, but i now know, without a doubt, that i do not have to walk this road alone. no matter how hard this shall be, i have family to hold me up until i see the value in myself that they so easily see.