it feels like you’re in front of a crowd screaming that you must die, but if you listen closely, there are voices screaming for you to live.
for so long, i was living in between two worlds. half living and half dead. i would inch closer to one side time to time, but there i was hanging, dangling in between living and death. a fake smile was my shield, hiding my rotting insides from the world around me. my reinforced titanium wall never let anyone in but secretly, i longed for someone to show me that love was possible- exactly where i was. —- i started writing this a couple of months ago and i just stopped. there was no happy resolution, no pretty bow to tie the darkness up. i just stopped. and looking back on it today, i realize that’s because i’ve been living in two worlds again. in my desperate desire to protect my aching heart, i’ve blocked out love. and so i’m taking a stand. i’m inching closer to the side of the living. i’m starting small- writing these words out, being honest with a few friends, speaking up about my fears and sadness. but most of all- i’m listening. listening to those voices screaming for me to live.
